Self Control
by Euley
Summary: (AU Lies My Friend Told Me) 7 years ago Wesley (matthew) was a father. Yet at one point he lose's control of his god like powers and attempts to kill his daughter. Forcing to leave his family Wesley must face his past.
1. Not Crazy

"Can you say Papa?" asked Matthew Pryce to the little baby girl in his arms. She looked up at her father, with her amazing piercing blue eyes, which where identical to her fathers. "Pa pa pa?" he said in his "baby voice".

"She's only a month old Matt." smiled Elizabeth Wattson.

"Well well look who's up." he said turning to Liz who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Yes, and look who's crazy." she teased.

"I'm not crazy." he said smiling.

"Yeh then what are you?" she said walking over to the pair. Matthew merely looked at his daughter, his face a glow, nothing but a smile on his face.

"In love." he merely said as he cradled the baby girl in his arms. Emma watched from the stairs, her face covered in darkness, yet her green eyes could be seen. Glaring at the little baby in her watchers arms.

* * *

Emma awoke, with lighting flashing, and thunder booming. And the sound of a baby crying, and footsteps running. Getting up quickly she dashed down the hallway, from her room which she shared with Joni and to the scene of the crime. The basement was over turned in Liz and Matt's room. Liz was holding Wilona looking at Matt in disbelief. Matt was backed up against the wall, a knife in his hand, and nothing but fear in his eyes.

"I-I"

"Matt whets wrong with you?" asked Liz, partially angry, partially concerned.

"I-I...I didn't mean to. I-I..."

"What going on?" asked Luke running to the room, standing next to Emma.

"I-I...I didn't mean it, s-she, and I-I" Emma had never seen Matt so scared before. Never...she didn't even know if it was possible for him to be scared.

"Emma, Luke go back to bed." commanded Liz sternly.

"But Liz-"

"Go!" she commanded venom in her voice, as Luke and Emma nodded and went off to their rooms. Yet Emma left the door open a crack. she had to figure out what was wrong.

* * *

"Matthew please talk to me." pleaded Liz as he left the bedroom, a duffle bag in his hand.

"Liz, I have to get away from here...I can't afford it to happen again."

"We'll find a wizard, we'll get help just don't leave please." she whispered grabbing on his hand stopping him. "I can't do this alone." she murmured tears in her eyes. He merely turned to her and cupped her cheek as he kissed her passionately, yet it was an obvious departing, goodbye kiss.

"Until I can control him...I can't afford to be around Wilona, or anyone." he merely whispered as he left her, his family, and the home he once knew.

* * *

Matthew drove in his jeep, and passed a sign that read "You are know leaving Virginia" and another sign that read "Welcome to Maryland". He merely sighed as he lit a cigarette. He hadn't smoked one in years, not since the Marines, yet he had to do something. Suddenly from the back seat Emma Wattson popped up.

"Hey those are really bad for you!"

"W-what!" he screamed shocked he pulled over at the side of the road. "Emma Elizabeth! What do you think your doing?"

"Saving your life." she said taking the cigarette out of his hand and throwing it to the ground. "I mean really Pryce!"

"Emma, why aren't you at home?"

"I wanted to come with you, I wasn't going to let you just leave and forget about us!" Matthew merely chuckled and he whispered which is something he does when he becomes serious.

"I would never forget about you Emma, you, or your sister."

"Then why'd ya leave?" she asked crossing her arms as she crawled into the front seat.

"I lost something." he said as he started to drive again.

"What did you lose?"

"Control" he merely replied.

"Control of what?"

"Shadow" he merely whispered.

Emma had heard stories, from Luke, and she knew about him and his siblings and about them all being part god. Yet she never thought that they were like two separate things. Like theirs a demon parrot of a vampire, and a sort of human part. So does Pryce have a human side and a god side? It really made her head hurt.

"So were are we going?"

"Not sure, but I can't go back now...Emma...I want you to promise me something." he whispered.

"What?"

"If I come near you with a knife...or I want to kill you...don't be afraid to hurt me, and then run for your life got it?"

"Ok," she said in an oddly cheery way. "So where are we going?"

"Maryland"

"I know that, I can read ya now." she said rolling her eyes. "But where in Maryland?"

"I have a friend up north who's a very powerful mage. He might be able to help me control him."

"Right, so...are we there yet?"

"Dear god, this is going to be a long car ride." Matthew thought to himself.


	2. Goats

Matthew had to confess he had really missed his Emma Elizabeth. He hadn't really talked to her since Wilona was born. Looking back, he feels guilty, because he had totally stopped training her and being with her because of Wilona. Emma must of thought Wilona had taken her place, yet she hadn't.

"So at the wedding who's the flower girl? Me or Joni"

"Joni." he merely said while the driving. The warm early September sun meant they could but the hood of the jeep down. Pryce could see from the corner of his eyes, even if he was wearing sunglasses that Emma was giving him a deadly glare. "Your the Maid of Honor." he merely grinned. She merely leaned back in the seat a proud smile on her face. Her dark brown pigtails were flying in the wind. Her jeans, and bright green tank top seemed for some odd reason to accentuate her eyes.

"And who's going to be your best man" she asked turning her head to her watcher. He was wearing a sort of gray blue short sleeve t-shirt and jeans.

"Wren, you know that."

"But I mean what about Luke and Wilfred. Who are they going to be"

Matthew stopped for a question not sure.

"Luke is going to be the ring bearer, and Wilfred will be..."

"Hmm" she said cocking an eyebrow.

"Wilfred, will hand your sister to me."

"Oh..." she said getting quite. "That thing, with the father walking the bride down the aisle, and giving her to the groom." she whispered.

"Emma I'm sorry I"

"Nay, it's ok. Good thinking Pryce." she murmured obviously faking her smile. She merely stared out the window and Matt and her fell into a comfortable silence.

They drove for a good hour or so in a comfortable silence, passing small town. With large fields, cows, and woods. They continued to drive until they came to a small farm called "Buperts". He pulled into the farm and parked.

Emma had never actually been ON a farm before. Pine green was a small town, yet it wasn't a farm town. It was a farm, yet they also sold apples, homemade jam, tomatoes, and ECT right upfront in a small opened space store, near the house. The warm smells of ripe apples, and seeing some orange pumpkins already starting to form calmed her from her original nervousness. They entered the log cabin like store, and they walked up to the counter where a kind woman was chatting with one of the locals.

"Can I help you" asked the woman at the counter looking up.

"Yes, I'm looking for Robert Buperts," said Pryce. She immediately looked up in shock at his British accent. It's obvious they don't have any people with accents around here.

"Robert passed away...4 months ago."

"Oh...I-I'm sorry." he said sadly, partly for the woman and partly for himself.

"If they're anything else I can help you with"

"No it's ok thank you," he merely whispered as he left the store.

"Chin up Pryce we'll find some help." said Emma cheerily.

"Yeh, I'm sure we will. Come on lets go see the goats." he merely smiled.

"Goats" asked Emma arching a brow. He gestured to the field the there left. There was a large open space of grass, and then the cornfield. She walked into the large open space and looked to her left and saw a small pin of goats. Some babies, others obviously well aged.

"Uuuh Pryce...what do goats eat"

"Corn, apples, little 10 year old girls." he said casually.

"Ok go-wait a minute" she said hitting him playfully in the arm and he chuckled. Emma just stared up at him.

"What" he asked as they walked over to the goats.

"You did an Emma chuckled."

"So"

"You haven't chuckled in a while...I just miss it that's all." she said sincerely.

"Me too Em's, me too." he merely sighed as he walked over to the goats who in fact didn't eat 10 year old girls yet young men in their 20's. Or it least attempted to eat their shirts.

* * *

"So who's this Robert guy"

"He owe's me one. I saved one of his goats."

"What" she asked arching a brow?

"It's complicated, but the goats used to be good wizards turned into animals by a demon. He defeated the demon, yet was trying to find a way to turn them back." he said casually as he sat at a picnic table by the "Hawaiian Snowball Stand" which Mrs. Buperts says was the best place to get ice cream, and to hurry because unlike the other places it is only open in the summer.

"Huh, poor guys." she said taking a bite of her chocolate ice cream with Reese's Peanut Butter Cup chunks in it.

"Yeh, but we still have a problem." he sighed taking a spoonful of his cherry and root beer flavored snowball.

"Ewe how can you eat that" she quivered.

"I like it." he shrugged.

"I stick to the good old Reese's and Ice Cream." Matthew merely chuckled, and the pair merely locked eyes after he did it for a moment and smiled.

"So what happened last night Matt" asked Emma as they got into the jeep once more. He whispered once more.

"I woke up...went to the kitchen...got a knife...went upstairs...was about to slice Wilona in half when Liz stopped me. She picked up Wilona and I pushed her... she hit the wall, yet Wilona was ok... what ever happened it stopped...I realized what I did...backed into the wall...and then you came." he merely explained. "I would never hurt your sister Emma," he said pleadingly.

"I know Pryce..." she sighed. They drove on, trying to get help or gain control over the god named Shadow.


	3. Summer Breeze

Pryce and Emma knocked on the door nervously. It was an old house, which was odd considering the place around it was a new development. About 3 minutes away from Buperts you start to hit developments. You see young families, because the place is probably a good place for young families. Yet it was odd seeing this old brick house, in the middle of all these new houses. Having a large willow tree in the front yard, while all of the others house had no trees in their front yards.

"Who's there" said an old wispy voice.

"Uuuh Mr. Marshall sir" asked Pryce slightly nervously.

"Yes, that's my name! Now what do you want" he hissed.

"I need your help."

"I don't help your kind"

"His kind" asked Emma arching a brow.

"Little British watchers, huh! Trying to seek guidance from old Sir Talon," he hissed

"Hey, dude! He's not a watcher! He just trains me! He isn't one of those British snobs I hear so little about."

"Yeh sure little girl why don't you go play with your dollies." he hissed once more and was about to close the door when Matt put his hand up to stop him.

"Kenny" he merely whispered. Kenny Talon Marshall creaked open the door.

"Bloody Freaking Hell! Dear god...Wesley? Oh my god boy, don't just stand there come in, come in" he ushered as he let the pair in. He then quickly looked around making sure they weren't followed or no one watched them enter as he slammed the door closed.

"Dear god boy what the hell happened to you? I mean we haven't seen you since you were 18" said Talon pouring him a cup of tea.

"I've been around, listen Talon I need your help. Have you ever heard of a god named Shadow"

Talon merely dropped his cup of tea on the floor shattering it to pieces.

"I'm taking that as a yes then." said Emma.

"Dear god boy...it is your generation isn't it? For the longest time people thought it would be your father, yet it's actually you," he gasped.

"Talon what do you know" he said sternly.

"Bloody hell...I'm still trying to get over this...are you sure your name is Wesley"

"Nay it's Matt sorry wrong Guy," said Emma casually.

"Heiac Slia Puso Kelo" he merely said, and to Emma it sounded as if he used his tongue more the miscarry.

"Why" asked Talon?

"Sjfa maff" Matthew spoke in a dead demon laungage unkown to Emma.

"Oh I see...yes well." he merely cleared his throat. "Very well then. Follow me then boy." he said getting up as he led them down to the unfinished cellar like basement.

It was books, books, and more books. Nothing but books.

"Woo" said Emma looking around.

"I think you'll find this most useful boy," he said handing Matthew a small brown leather bound book. "It's the complete text, of Shadow. The theories, the legends, the stories."

"But it's so small."

"Well Shadow isn't the most well known God, well he is well known, yet he is very mysterious."

"Thank you, this helps a lot Talon," he said flipping through the pages.

"Well guess we have to go." said Emma as they stood at the doorway. For the last hour all she heard was the pair speak in some weird language, which she guessed was some Italian thing because she knew he lived there for a few months, and probably taught him how to speak it. The jeep outside had the radio blasting Jason Mraz's version of "Summer Breeze" extremely loudly.

"Yes well come by any time boy." said Talon as Emma left the door. Talon merely grabbed Matt by the shirt and pulled him close and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Talon"

"Wesley, we both know that you could be an active watcher, headmaster of the school, or anything in the council with your knowledge. You were head boy for crying out bloody loud."

"I know"

"Then why? And don't tell me your father, because we both know you are no longer afraid of him. What is the reason you don't return to England and show your true potential" Matthew merely grinned.

"A girl." he merely said pulling away. "Seya around Headmaster" he merely said. And he left his headmaster leaning against his doorway; his arms crossed yet a grin on his face.

"That kid is going to be ok." he said as if just realizing it and shook his head. And looked once more at the road and the jeep driving down it and with that he entered his house and was about to close the door yet the final line of the song which he could still here even though it was distant, just made him pause and smile.

"Blowin through the Jasmine in my Mind"

"He really is." he said and sighed as he closed the door of his house.


	4. Rootbeer Cherry Snowcone

"Oh my god Matt" screamed Liz as he entered the house, and she merely ran into his arms. "God I was so worried." she whispered and started to peck kisses all over his face.

"Jeez ok, feeling so unloved." said Emma coming into the house.

"Oh Emma" she said dropping on her knees. "I thought you ran away...I had no clue you were with Matt, oh god Emma," she said kissing her forehead. "Where have you been"

"Buperts, Hawaii, and a creepy old guy's house."

"Huh"

"Maryland." said Matt reassuringly.

"Oh...ok good." she then hit them both on the side of the head.

"Ow" they said in union.

"Ever leave me like that again, and it won't be so nice feeling next time," she hissed, yet a smile was still on her face. They both glanced at each other and smiled. "Now go to your rooms" she commanded. And they did obediently.

* * *

"Hey" said Emma entering the dimly lit kitchen; The clock read 2:21Matt was sitting in their reading the book. "Watcha doin"

"Reading" he merely, said as he covered his notes with the book itself. She didn't need to know he was translating a book from a long lost language to English. Not today anyways.

"Huh, so you think you have control over him now"

"Yeh...he wants Wilona dead because technically she was never suppose to be born."

"Ooh ahh forbidden child." said Emma rolling her eyes.

"Something like that." he sighed as he continued to read and Emma got out something from the fridge and two spoons.

"Cherry Root beer Snow cone" asked Matt curiously.

"Yeh" she shrugged. "I guess I mean, I sort of have to get use to change right" she said shrugging. Matt nodded, though he will defiantly not ignore like he had the last month, Wilona is still his daughter. And she still needed to get used to change.

"Emma" he whispered.

"Hmm" she asked curiously staring at the snow cone as if it were evil.

"If...if I ever lose control...please...take her away from me...don't wait up for me...I-I'd rather have her live then die..." he sighed.

"You got it," she said casually handing him a spoon. They both took a spoonful and smiled.

"So ya ready for something new" he asked, the phrase having a double meaning.

"Yeh..." she said sincerely. "I think I am." they clinked their spoons together like one would a wine glass and took a bite.

"Hmm this is pretty good," she said honestly. Matthew merely chuckled.


End file.
